If you’re parenting a tween or teen right now, it can feel like the ground keeps shifting. Social dynamics, academics, technology, mental health and more are all so difference than when we were kids. I asked a high school counselor what they’re seeing most, what’s changed, and what parents can do at home and at school to help your kids (and you!) navigate these challenges.
What to know (at a glance)
- Mental health and time management are two of the biggest current challenges.
- Social media comparison culture can create a false sense of inadequacy.
- Look for changes from your child’s “baseline,” not just obvious red flags.
- Belonging is a core need, and it strongly impacts emotional health.
- Parents and school staff work best as one support team.
What are the biggest challenges you’re currently seeing among high school students? Have those challenges changed in recent years?
Probably mental health & time management. I would say that both have steadily become more pressing over the past ten plus years.
How are social media and comparison culture impacting students’ confidence and mental health? How can parents help?
Social media leads students to compare their behind-the-scenes reality to everyone else’s best moments. This can create a false sense of inadequacy. Parents can help by encouraging digital resets and modeling healthy tech boundaries. Openly discussing how filters and curated posts don’t reflect reality helps students shift their focus back to their own personal growth.
What signs might indicate that a teen is struggling emotionally, even if they aren’t talking about it?
Look for a change in their “baseline”. This might look like changes in sleep, appetite, mood, motivation, or social behavior. Even subtle changes – like withdrawing from activities they used to enjoy or becoming more irritable – can be signs of emotional distress.
What are common misconceptions parents have about teens and their behavior?
A major misconception is that withdrawal is always “normal teen behavior.” Some withdrawal is expected, but if it’s paired with sadness, irritability, or isolation, it may signal something deeper. Another misconception is that teens don’t want parental involvement – many do, but they want it in a way that feels respectful and not intrusive.
How can parents create a home environment where teens feel safe opening up – especially about difficult topics like bullying, anxiety, or peer pressure?
The “drive-and-talk” method is incredibly effective. Car rides create low-pressure opportunities for conversation without forced eye contact. Parents can also normalize emotions by sharing their own experiences in age-appropriate ways. The key is listening without immediately trying to fix the problem.
What role does belonging – feeling part of a group or community – play in a teen’s emotional health?
Belonging is a fundamental human need, especially during adolescence. Teens who feel connected to a group – whether it’s a friend circle, sports team, club, or family – are more resilient and better able to cope with stress. Lack of belonging can contribute to depression and anxiety.
What are some simple, everyday things parents can do to help build their teen’s resilience and confidence?
Encourage giving students space to solve their own problems. Praise effort over outcome. Create routines and structure at home, and build in time for rest. Also, remind them of their strengths regularly – teens often forget what they’re good at when they’re overwhelmed.
Are you seeing differences in how boys and girls express stress or self-esteem struggles?
While every student is unique, we often see stress in girls show up as anxiety, perfectionism, or social comparison. Boys may be more likely to show stress through irritability, shutting down, or acting out. Both groups benefit from being taught emotional vocabulary and healthy coping strategies.
How does academic pressure affect teens’ mental health today, and how can parents help without adding more pressure?
Academic pressure often leads to achievement anxiety and burnout. Parents can help by emphasizing learning and growth rather than grades. It’s also helpful to discuss realistic expectations and remind teens that their worth isn’t tied to academic performance.
What are some early warning signs at school — attendance, behavior changes, academic shifts — that parents shouldn’t ignore?
Parents should look for a sustained decline in grades, changes in attendance, frequent nurse visits, increased discipline issues, or sudden loss of motivation. When these changes persist, it’s important to check in early rather than waiting for a crisis.
How can parents partner effectively with school counselors and teachers when they’re concerned about their child?
Think of us as part of your support team. Don’t wait until things become urgent. Share what you’re seeing at home and ask what we’re noticing at school. The more we communicate, the sooner we can put supports in place.
What are some healthy ways teens can advocate for themselves at school when they feel overwhelmed or unsupported?
We encourage students to seek out a trusted adult and practice using assertive language. They can request meetings, ask for extensions when appropriate, and learn how to communicate their needs respectfully. Teaching them to self-advocate builds confidence and lifelong skills.
If there is one takeaway for our community, it’s that teens need connection more than they need perfection. Most are doing their best, even when it doesn’t look that way. Parents don’t need to have all the answers – they just need to stay present.
And if you’re reading this feeling a little overwhelmed, take a breath. You’re not behind, and you’re not alone. Parenting teens and tweens is intense because the stakes feel high and the world they’re growing up in is loud and complicated. But small, steady things matter more than you think: a calm check-in, a car-ride conversation, a reminder that you’re on their side, a boundary that’s rooted in love, a consistent routine, a genuine “I’m proud of you.” Connection is built in moments, not lectures – and it’s one of the most powerful protective factors your child can have. Keep showing up. That’s what they’ll remember, and that’s what helps them grow.
If your child has been feeling the weight of stress, comparison, or “not enough,” sometimes a meaningful experience can help them reconnect with who they are – outside of grades, social dynamics, and social media. That’s one reason I created Dream Catchers: a portrait experience designed to help tweens and teens feel seen, capable, and proud of themselves. It’s not about being “photogenic” or perfect. It’s about walking away with a memory of how it feels to be celebrated – and images that remind them (and you) of their strength. If you’d like to learn what a session looks like and whether it’s a fit for your child, you’re welcome to reach out and we’ll talk it through.